Interpersonal Skills

INTERPERSONAL SKILLS

(A skill to relate with one another in an effective way)

INTRODUCTION

No one in the world could say that they want to be away from all the people and be alone throughout. Though some of them say it out of bitterness and after facing difficulties because of certain people in their lives, they couldn’t do that. Human beings are having certain qualities or characteristics which couldn’t be expressed without another person. Every one of us come across different people in our life, day-by-day and hour-by-hour but we aren’t the same towards everyone, alike. We have a formal relationship with whom we relate for some temporary gain or action and informal relationship with everyone with whom we wish to have a sustaining interaction. The various people we have a relationship with are our family, friends, relatives where we could have sustenance; and there are some other places such as Educational institution, Workplace, Markets, travel agents, etc. where we have a formal, and not much sustaining relationship.

UNIQUENESS of PERSONALITIES

Every one of us is unique in our interests and tastes

The people in the World are very unique in the way of perceiving things. We have our own interests according to how we perceive things and our tastes differ from one another in a diverse way. This uniqueness makes the world complete or complex with a variety of choices around us.

Every one of us has personal knowledge and experience

Every people have something to offer to others though there is a lot of difference in Knowledge, Experience, Education and Skills, in accordance with the Capability. There are always certain things that the person alone knows. No one can trace another person absolutely in their thoughts, actions, and behavior. Personal Knowledge and Experience gained by a person cannot be equated with anyone else’s knowledge in the World.

Every one of us faces our own situations

We come across various circumstances of our life such as happiness, peacefulness, Sadness, Hatred, etc. and each one has our own situations in a very unique way. Most of the times the situations cannot be controlled or changed but how each one reacts or respond to it can always be changed and controlled.

Every one of us has our own cultural, educational, family, social and other backgrounds

No one can replace the other person’s lineage in reference to their family and social background. We have our own and unique identity in terms of our Culture, Education and Other backgrounds, which may be specifically shared with our specific group at times.

Every one of us contributes towards something to others, it may be constructive or destructive

We are interconnected with one another in one way or the other. No one can say that they live a lonely life and need no one in the entire world. We depend on one another for many needs and wants of Life.  Whatever we speak and act is noticed by others and it is either Constructive or Destructive to others. 

WHAT ARE INTERPERSONAL SKILLS?

Interpersonal skills are the life skills we use every day to communicate and interact with other people, both individually and in groups.  

As human beings, we all interact with one another from the beginning. For proper and healthy communication with an individual as well as in groups, we need to develop our interpersonal skills. These skills describe how we speak, how we behave and how we respond.

People who have worked on developing strong interpersonal skills are usually more successful in both their professional and personal lives.

It is not the wealth and health alone, that makes a person successful in their professional and personal lives. There are a lot of immaterial qualities such as Trustworthiness, Goodness, Patience, Responsibility, etc. necessary for successful lives, which are all involved in Interpersonal skills.

Through awareness of how we interact with others - and with practice - we can improve our interpersonal skills. 

Interpersonal skills are not inherited skills; it can be improved by involving and interacting with each other in an appropriate and desirable manner. We need to know how to communicate, when to communicate and why to communicate with each other at different situations.

RELATIONSHIPS AROUND US

There are many beautiful relationships around us.

No people in the world had fallen into the earth directly from heaven. Everyone has relations that are inherited by birth. Even if a person loses inherited relationships, unfortunately, other relationships can always be earned by Interpersonal skills.

Relationship means exchange of material and immaterial things without any immediate expectation or thoughtfulness.

We could say that we are related to a person, only when there is an exchange of needed material things as well as immaterial things. Immaterial things include emotions such as love, care, affection, encouragement and sometimes anger, hatred, etc. Material things include house, money, and all other physical things. 

All relationship means to exist only when there are effective communication, Mutual Agreement, and like-mindedness

The basis for every relationship to exist is the constant giving and taking of information. When there is a gap in meeting and Communicating, the relationship slowly loses its vigor. Also when there is no mutual agreement to either agree to agree or agree to Disagree, the relationship can’t exist. Like mindedness is another criterion that keeps the relationship moving on with a common purpose.

NEED OF INTERPERSONAL SKILLS

Interpersonal skill is very much needed for our self-sustenance to share emotions, thoughts, materials, etc.

All the Emotions and thoughts could not be expressed unless there are at least two people. Expression of things needs other people and interpersonal skills are needed to make other people heed positively to the emotions and thoughts. Even all the materials were formed or altered only for the people to make life easier.

We are social beings and there is no meaning if we subject ourselves to live alone.

No person can give meaning to life by being alone. But many say that they want to live alone after facing failures and devastations. It’s hardly possible because as human beings we depend on one another directly or indirectly for many things in life.

Everyone comes across people, everywhere and every time.

People are the evergreen resources even in the worst deserts. They exist everywhere in the World and each one of us could come across another person at any place on the face of the earth at any time. We could find people everywhere from home to the public place to any other place of solitude.

Whether it is home, Study/Workplace, Shopping centers, etc. there are people around us.

We can’t continue to be in a lonely place, away from all the people though we may tend to avoid and choose the hardest part of life. Though we may move away from all, some people follow us, as we depend on one another for many things.

Every one of us is dependent on other people for Food, Materials, Education, and Medicine, etc. for easy access.

If a person wants to live all alone by being in a forest or a solitary cave after attaining maturity, He needs to take care of everything for himself, which is a much difficult task. Even if one succeeds to do, he hates his life and longs to attain transcendence.

FACTORS EFFECTING INTERPERSONAL SKILLS

Personal factors:

Experiences in the past, Situations in the Present and Expectations for future influence our interpersonal skills.

Nothing is an accident that happens around us; everything that has happened in the past can be used to learn a lot of positives and negatives from ourselves, but many of us only use it to make decisions out of it. The way we want to interact with others is greatly influenced by our past experiences, how we feel at the present, and our future expectations.  

Social factors

Cultural practices, family environment, the work environment may also influence our relationship with people

There is a great influence on the way we speak, in the way we act, in the way we appear because of our Culture that is imparted into the system of family and Work, either directly or indirectly. Our family as well as our Workplace rules and regulations impact our lifestyle to an extent and thereby affect our relationship.

Economic factors

The financial situations, Power and Prosperity will surely affect our Interpersonal relationship

Money is necessary for moving our day to day life. It is needed at all points of life for ourselves to buy things and always gives us confidence. Also the Power and position we hold sometimes make us act accordingly, leaving our real own nature. Thereby it also affects the interpersonal relationship when a person sets priority over material than Man. 

HANDLING CONFLICTS

A person should be patient for agreeable issues. If it is not an agreeable thing, (s) he can point the difference it makes and forbids it.

Every one of us considers ourselves as best and we fail to view things from others' points of view. In order to know/understand other person thoughts, it’s necessary to be patient. We needn’t be patient for everything but should be patient for agreeable issues. There will be always certain things which are much deviant and not agreeable, those things can be expressed, along with the effect it causes, and it can be stressed to be forbidden.

A person should always consider other views and give importance to the thoughts of others.

Listening to others needs much patience which may be a little difficult thing, as there will not be views that are always suitable and comfortable for our thoughts. But it doesn’t mean that other views are invalid. There is always a scope for every one of us to improve and every person knows something that the other person doesn’t know. It is always necessary for every person to consider another person’s ideas and give importance to their thoughts in order to know things from one another, correct one another and encourage one another.

The Mistakes of another person could be corrected personally. Consider others better than yourself, though it may not be most of the time.

There is no one in the world without error, so it is always necessary to correct one another. Also as human beings, we have our own Ego that makes us defend ourselves even though we had committed some mistakes. The mistakes can be more efficiently corrected when it’s dealt personally than in public. Though we may be better than many people, we need to consider others better so as to listen to them and improve our interpersonal relationships.

Don’t peep into other person’s windows and Don’t Gossip.

One of the biggest reasons for the break in the relationship with people is that we peep into their activities and hinder their privacy, when the person doesn’t like us doing that. There is also another condition, that a person let us know by sharing their personal weaknesses and hurdles in the mutual trust of being things confidential, but when we breach by letting others know it, it’s very difficult to build the relationship again.

Avoid unhealthy communication

Communication involves the transfer of ideas and thoughts with one another. It can be verbal and non-verbal. There are always words or actions that can be negative or that could be taken dually. Those unhealthy ways of Communication will make the other person feel offended and it may also hurt them. It is very important to avoid unhealthy words and actions for healthy interpersonal relationships.

Treat the other person with love and respect.

There could be always ways to impress and get along with others by showing some false faces that will be more pleasing to them. But those will not stay long as there are always chances that the true face will be revealed or there will be an ending point for building a false face. Only when a person loves another person and gives them respect, there could be the truth and trustworthy relationships.

Watch your words, actions, and behavior with another person. 

Words and actions play a vital role in Communication. Both are the outcome of our behavior which in turn is characterized by our attitude. Though our attitude is implicit, our words and actions which are explicit, reveals it. When we set right our attitude, gradually our words, actions and behavior will be right. It is very important to control our words, actions and behavior with others for resolution of conflicts and healthier interpersonal relationships.

IMPORTANCE OF INTERPERSONAL SKILLS

The interpersonal skills help us to solve interpersonal problems.

Every one of us has our own set of ideas and priorities due to the influence of our own environment. These leads to some gap in our relationships. The understanding of different individuals which is an interpersonal skill helps us to solve the interpersonal problems that we face day-to-day.

The interpersonal skills helps us to have a healthy relationship in the family, Study/Workplace and even public place.

The people will behave nicely only when we behave nicely with them. Every one of us wishes that others should treat them with love and respect, but many times we don’t treat others by the way we want us to be treated. Interpersonal skills help a person to consider others better than ourselves and help us to be good in our family, social and public life.

The interpersonal skills make us special as we strive hard with power, position, and prosperity, only to get recognized by people.

Most of the people in the world strive hard for the materialistic or immaterialistic things such as power, position and prosperity not because of the essence that it has in itself but because of the recognition,

 it has among the people. It is the interpersonal relationship through strong interpersonal skills that provides motivation to acquire power, position, and prosperity, and also use it efficiently and beneficially for others.

Interpersonal skills help in building interpersonal relationships in an effective way.

A relationship always involves continuous communication with one another. We do not relate much with most of the people in day to day life because though we communicate with one another, it is not continuous always. Every relationship could be healthy only when it is handled with much care. In order to be effective in our relationships, we need interpersonal skills.

GUIDELINES FOR EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIP

Effective Communication (Verbal and Non-verbal) is needed for Effective Interpersonal relationships.

Communication doesn’t involve just the words but it also involves the actions. Sometimes we manage to be good at our words but not the actions. We don’t walk the talk and it always plunders the respect from others' sight. Effective Communication involves both verbal and non-verbal factors to be synchronized with one another in a healthier way for better interpersonal relationships.

Empathize with the person and handle tactfully.

Every response through actions and words needn’t be acceptable. There will be always times for a person to act or spell something that is very weird and different from other' perception. We may have also come across personally, being in the same situation. It’s always necessary to empathize with other person and make clear about things what (s) he really means. If they are really deviant then it is necessary to handle the situation tactfully.

Stand for your Values that are ethically and morally right, Tolerate and give way to other things.

Everyone needs to stand up for the values that is ethically and morally right and that is witnessed by our conscience. Or else there will not be a definite standard and everyone will start acting according to their own desires. If anyone violates the values, then it is necessary to correct it for not deviating further, and if it is not possible at times, it’s better to deny the past happenings and act shrewdly. In a certain matter of Conflicts, tolerance needs to be practiced and giving up minor things helps to have good interpersonal relationships.

Do not discriminate, love others as yourself. Respect the people for their differences.

Every one of us is unique in our being. The wide differences amongst us help us to admire one another. It naturally enables us to say that we are dependent on one another as social beings. Instead of discriminating and cornering someone, we need to have an attitude to accept and respect the wide differences that exist amongst us, to have a good number of friends. When we start realizing and acknowledging the difference that exists within ourselves, we would be able to appreciate and admire differences and love others as we love ourselves.

Don’t compare yourself with others. Don’t be jealous instead encourage other persons best.

We are best in one way or the other at least to our closest people. We need not compare ourselves with the best people in the world as well as the feeble people. We need to appreciate ourselves, encourage one another and learn from one another. We needn’t be jealous of others, instead, admire and appreciate other person’s expertise.

QUALITIES FOR INTERPERSONAL SKILLS

A person should know himself first.

Everyone in the world has own interests and tastes based on their own environment and situations. All of us come across many things in our lives and had experienced a lot of emotions with varying thoughts. It is very interesting and important to look back at our lives to learn from it. The more we analyze and realize ourselves, the more we will be able to understand others. Knowing ourselves the first and foremost will surely help us to have Good interpersonal relationships by enhancing interpersonal skills.

A person should try to understand another person’s point of view.

We all have our own thoughts and ideas. We all need it to be expressed and recognized by others. Everyone has something that others don’t have; thereby all of us have something to learn from one another.  Listening is an important skill and it needs much patience. Only when we listen and observe others, we would be able to acknowledge them. Only when we acknowledge others, we would be able to accept them when they are genuine and better. Even when others are wrong and deviant, we would be able to exhort only when we acknowledge them. It is also important to understand the other person’s point of view to build and maintain an interpersonal relationship.

A person should be rational and express the right kind of emotions at the right times.

As human beings we have our own thoughts emerging out of our intellect and we have our own feelings emerging out of our emotions. Most of the times people act as intellectual idiots due to overthinking, beyond reality as well as act as emotional enigmatic due to the expression of irrational emotions. No one is rational or emotional throughout but all of us need to practice being thoughtful in expressions. It is important to have the balance of our hearts and minds when we relate with people to have good interpersonal relationships.

The Values should be set right and when the other person is wrong, it should be gradually corrected (based on the person’s personality)

We all have different backgrounds and go through different circumstances of life. We define and follow things according to our own perceptions. If everyone starts saying that what they say is alone right and others have to go along with it to make them happy, it would surely affect each other at some time. It is necessary to set right the values and stand for it. As well, we need to gradually correct when the perception of another person is wrong. There could be times in which some people may behave in an appropriate and acceptable manner, and also having a wrong perception aside. Whatever the situation may be and even if the person initially refuses to accept it, in the long run, he will understand the right values once the fact is experienced or revealed, and the interpersonal relationship is strengthened.

A person should be assertive and have awareness about things around him.

Communication is one of the important aspects of interpersonal relationships. Communication involves Listening, thinking and Responding. In order to think and respond to what we have listened it is very important for us to be assertive and be clear about what we express. Also, it is very important for us to be aware of the things and happenings around us every day to enhance our interpersonal skills and thereby enhance interpersonal relationships.

A person should have Responsibility and Accountability.

Every human being has the mentality to express something they had found and something that is new for recognition and attention, to others. In the event of it, many times we fail to be faithful to the people who had trusted and revealed certain things in the hope that we will keep it confidential at any cost. When there is a breach of confidentiality, there is a great disappointment and break in interpersonal relationships. No one likes to reveal something that will bring disgrace in front of others. If the person owns the responsibility and accountability towards the other person, there will not be any breach and the sharing will help to improve another. Responsibility and Accountability enhance interpersonal skills and relationships.

INTERPERSONAL SKILLS- GREATEST OF ALL

People are the greatest resources as well as disasters in the World.

Everything, other than the regular and unexpected natural actions in the World is influenced by human beings. The man had made machines to fly in the sky, float in water, and slide in the land. He dug out the treasures of the earth, found the pearl in the sea, and used the invisible rays of the sky to make money. All the things of the earth were made to make life interesting and comfortable due to the innovation of a few people for the welfare of other people. In the changing world, we had forgotten that all the innovations of the world are made only for other human beings or the environment. Just for making a profit, sometimes innovations become a disaster. The environment alone doesn’t make the life and it’s the human beings who make it. So, People are the greatest resources as well as disasters in the world and it is harmonized through interpersonal skills.

Without people, there wouldn’t be constructiveness as well as destructiveness.

People alone are the trail for the buildings with its magnificent structures as well as large pits that were dig to make stones and take treasures. People alone are responsible for easier Communication and transportation as well as Pollution and Contamination. People alone are using their intellect and emotions for others and against others. Without people, there will not be any constructiveness as well as destructiveness. And as an individual, we may not be responsible for all, but we are part of something through strong bondage of interpersonal skill.

Every destructiveness could be made into constructiveness by wiping out selfishness, only when the bond of an interpersonal relationship is good.

There are always consequences that arise when there is no proper organizing and proper use of resources, when there are plundering and exploitation of resources around us due to our selfish nature. When we feel responsible over others and count our accountability in all our actions, we will try to be useful to others. In the process of constructiveness there will be always destructiveness, and we will strive to fill those gaps of destructiveness only when the bondage of interpersonal relationships are very good.

The interpersonal skills with the right values could change the earth into a place of peace and happiness.

When Interpersonal skills are built, people will be able to accept and acknowledge another person without any discrimination of caste, creed, race, religion, etc. as they will be able to know others as well as themselves and` start loving others as themselves. The interpersonal skills with the right values help us to be faithful to one another in all our words, actions and behavior, which could make the earth into a place of peace and happiness.